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Monday, March 17, 2008

A lesson learnt

Yesterday,for some reason, I felt particularly anti-social.The feeling was an absolute low,like I just want to be invisible.Or something to that extent.I was really convinced that nobody would have noticed if I disappeared. Like,be it now,or whenever.It doesn't matter.

So I became momentarily 自闭,and went to sit by myself in a corner in the canteen,after service.Cause barely after I started eating,De Qi came and talked for awhile,and Nat and another guy ~~sorry I cnt rmb ur name~~ came over for like five mins and then went out for lunch.Yet a little while later,I supposed I 'saved' her by telling her that Violet would be late.So she went to join her friends again,and I was alone again.

Yet,maybe I wasn't meant to be alone,even though I wanted to be.I guess He had other plans.Cause then I saw Amanda (Sim) and chatted with her for a ~~short~~ while.It was a rather nice convo,in which I found out that almost everyone else did better than me in O's.Yayness. Self reminder; Learn to draw strength from Him who gave you life.

Second lesson I learnt [during Ljoy],was when I 自闭 again,and went to peace room to read the picture Bible whilst the kidos were watching vcd in agape room.Nat was gonna go over so he asked me to too.Well he seemed appalled when I told him why I don't want to go next door. But he ~~forced~~ made me go next door,regardless.I mean,I didn't want to go over,because I didn't want to bond with the kids.Cause I don't think I can go back to help in Ljoy,once attachment's over,and school starts.For that reason,I didn't want to become emotionally attached to the kids.I mean.It'll just be me breaking my own heart.The kids,and people around, they prolly won't notice my absence.And even if they did,they wouldn't give a hoot.

But when I went over,He once again showed that He knows best what I should do.My heart just melted when I saw them.I almost couldn't control myself and my emotions,I nearly cried.Cause they are so innocent,and so pure.So trusting,and so adorable.Jonson&Angela,I'll miss you both..

Through this I've learnt,that we each have a responsibility;To train and nuture the young in our charge.

And maybe now I'll learn to focus my attention on the Bible,which I've really neglected.
Lord forgive me.

She was loved. 6:33 PM